I also realized the problems I had with my technique prior to my leave were still there...
My home studio is small so I feel like I'm doing well, however, when I go into the tango 'bad lands' of NYC I realize that I'm not so good. It's a strange situation to be in - - on one hand I'm lavished in praise and on the other I'm ignored.
Confused (and looking for clarity) I went to a tango mentor who's honesty I value. I told them what I was experiencing and asked for help - - an honest critique of sorts.
Well the bible says, "You shall know the truth and the truth will make you free."
Well I'm free now.
shaken.
but free.
This is the result of our conversation.
1. My walk - incredibly unstable. I need to work on foot placement and extension.
::seriously - - I'm glad I spent $$$ on privates and hours practicing my walk. I was embarrassed by the critique and then angry. All that time spent with walking drills, extending, waiting, collecting, going back and forth across the floor and the issue wasn't corrected? Endless ochos in front of a mirror until the rug at my gym was worn down from the repetition. Hours of practicing with no results?!?! Why did I bother?!! Why did I waste that money?! A fool and their money are soon departed. Well I sure felt like a fool and I could have used the money I wasted as a down payment on a cruise to the South Pacific. ::
2. I have to learn how to negate my height and my body mass...
::sigh:: Body mass... a touchy subject. Although I see his point. I have managed to keep off the weight that I lost last year and when I heard the phrase 'negate your body mass' I thought 'How much more work would you have me lose?" My tango mentor went on to say it wasn't a question of weight but mass...
So I looked at pictures and realized the tangueras that I go out with, that dance often all have a similar build - - thin through the waist, narrow backs, and small delicate frames.
Unless I hang out with professional drag queens and learn how to tie myself up in a corset I will NEVER have a tiny waist. Narrow back? not in my gene pool....
I also don't have a small, delicate frame that floats weightlessly on CiFs. If I did have these things I wouldn't be me and I'm happy with me.
As I write out my tango goals for 2010 I have a lot to think about...
Should I risk taking privates again with another instructor?
Should I continue to go out to milongas and 'sit & smile'?
How much do I want to get out of tango?
What else am I willing to put into it?
Decisions... decisions......
Ciao,
Pantina
P.S. AJ - this is why I was so quiet on Saturday. Sorry I didn't have a chance to explain. See you soon.
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9 comments:
If it makes you feel any better, we are all always working on our walk. :-)
Hum, mass.... I would say that was a poor choice of words on his part. I would venture to say that although being smaller physically could potentially help one, it is more about the control that one has over one's own body. Watch Corina of Julio and Corina, she is not wafer thin, but she has amazing control of every step she takes.
I have also danced as a leader with women who were whisps and felt like a ton of bricks because they put all their weight on me. Now I am a neophyte leader, but I know that the only mass I should be moving around is my own. ;-)
glad you are back on the floor! :-)
I don't know you, Pantina, but based on what you write here, I would offer the following, in light of your friend's comment about your walking: invest your money in a pair of shoes with lower and thicker heels. Sure, CIFs are gorgeous, but they're terrible shoes for beginners, or for dancers with stability issues. Once you work out the mechanics, and strengthen your ankles (or whatever it is that's making you unstable), you can graduate to the CIFs.
Johanna,
You actually read my mind. I am going to temporarily retire my higher heels and invest in a good pair of stable, lower shoes. As I work on strengthening my ankles and improving my walking..
One step at a time!
Thnx!
Your body shape and weight are no issue for tango at all. Of course, if you were one of the small tango dolls everyone could just lift you into moves and figures. Would yo really want to?
As Debbi said: the walk is never perfect. Yet I am not so sure if you don't get lost in appearances with the thinking about all the steps and elements of the walk and in the meantime are forgetting what really counts: feeling your body and thus your axis, and communicating this to your partner.
Maybe it would help to start with general body awareness – through other means than tango? Balance is crucial. Try one-footed excercises… stand on one leg, lift yourself up. Do the stuff you do.
Walk in the streets paying attention to your standing leg!
Pantina, I take issue with the idea of "negating" your "mass'. I say if you have it, work it!
Also it sounds like there are really two subjects to your post. One is the walk, and that is an eternal project as Debbi points out. I think that by the time I get a graceful walk I will be 100 years old.
But the other issue is one of acceptance (your acceptance of your own body and your perception of others acceptance of you as you are?) O.K. I don't know you, and I may be crossing the boundary here, but I would not let anyone "critique" your size, shape, or age, or anything else that is YOU. Just use it to the fullest, life is short.
P.S. Tara shoes?
Next time when you see me in NYC at a practica came and say hi. There are a few suggestions I can make that seemed to have helped other people in the past.
As for the CiFs, if you are not using the heel when you are stepping backwards (but rather tip toe), then that could be one of the issues. A lower heel will make it more difficult to use when stepping back.
Thank you Debbi! I will definitely look up the videos.
I think what my mentor was actually referring to was how I move. Possibly I feel 'heavy' to lead. That makes sense to me because I've lead followers that felt very heavy in their movement and others that felt too light.
Everyone's insight has been very encouraging and thought provoking. Thank you very much!!
If its anything to you my dear Patina CIFs does make low heel tango shoes, You just have to hunt for them
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