The Blame Game

Whenever I watch a political debate I usually find myself yelling at the television like a NBA finals game. Politicians love to play the 'blame game'. Each person blaming the other for the short comings in the economy, world peace, off shore drilling, etc. Their posturing to position themselves as the blameless savior while portraying their opponent as the devil incarnate drives my blood pressure to record highs.

In reality both parties have some truth and some fiction to their positions. If we spent more time working together instead of blaming one another perhaps we could experience authentic and lasting change.

The same can be said of tango.

There is a breed of tanguero that I like to call The Blamers. Every mistake and missed step is never the result of a poor lead it's ALWAYS the follower's fault. They can be identified by their 'sighs' of disgust when a step isn't executed properly, their eye rolling when a follower embellishes against their will, and arrogant condescending demeanor both on (and off) the floor.

Please understand I'm not saying every mistake made is the result of a poor lead. I've danced with professional instructors and managed to miss leads that were flawlessly executed. However, the difference is the attitude of the lead. When I screw up dancing with Mr. Smooth and I attempt to apologize at a milonga he says, "Please, don't worry about it." He's able to regroup, shift my weight and we're off to dancing again.

With 'The Blamer' every mistake is highlighted and they never, Never, NEVER offer to take responsibility. They just point their fingers and 'offer suggestions'.

Blamers take the fun out of tango. They make partnerships competitive (and even combative). Instead engaging in a 'conversation' with one another through the movement we have a type of presidential debate mud slinging campaign and in the end no one was made richer through the exchange. When I get angry at my partner and start thinking, "If I do a high boleo here I'm sure I can have plausiable deniability when I kick him in the _______." The dance is dead. The magic is gone. And I've become the blamer (It's HIS fault. He's blaming me for every mistake!)

whine. whine. whinnnnnnnnne.

I'd like to stick to the tango high road. Focus on connection, dance together, breathe together, listen to the music together. And as we continue to work together as a couple equally engaged in the dance the magic of tango happens. In those moments tandas last for hours, minds are blown, time stands still and you float all the way home.

Ciao,

Pantina