I've gotten to the point in my dancing where I am confident in my abilities. Don't get me wrong - - I know I still have a lot to learn, however, there are some things that I have beaten into my muscular memory and I can see that my dancing has improved.
All those hours of pivoting around a chair are starting to pay off.
With all that practice under my belt there are times that I still sit for hours at a milonga. I have boiled this down to the unidentifiable 'IT' Factor. When I am rolling in a strong wave of 'IT' I go into a milonga and dance all night long! As a cortina plays I am hit with multiple cabeccos, if I find myself sitting for any amount of time tangueros are walking over to me asking me to dance and even a walk to the restroom results in a dance invitation.
On nights like this I'm in my Tango Zone and I have 'IT' going on.....
Lately I've been experiencing the other type of night... Nights where my 'IT' has gone on an unscheduled holiday and I find myself sitting for hours. On nights like this I try to avoid the creepy tangueros that prey on uninformed beginners (and desperate tangueras). It's like a veil is pulled over me and I suddenly become invisible. Sitting and waiting for hours as my friends dance circles around the floor. Then I start to feel like the purse sitting, clock watching tanguera wishing that the evening would come to a swift close.
I wish I knew why some evenings I have 'IT' and other evenings I don't. On 'IT-Less' nights I start asking myself a series of questions:
1. How long am I willing to sit & wait?
When I begin to realize that I've been mistaken for furniture it's a tough call to know when to call it a night. If you wait around the crowd thins out but there's no guarantee that anyone will come over and ask you to dance (or return a well thrown cabecco).
2. How do I get my 'IT' factor back so I can get off the side lines and start dancing again?
Does it have to do with moon and star alignment? A life devoted to prayer and fasting? What is that unknown THING that draws tangueros to you? I don't want to hazard a guess of why they pick who they pick. All I know is that I could make a million dollars if I could invent a tanguera pheromone cologne that promised to draw tangueros to you.... "One whiff and all the best dancers in the room will run to your side and beg you for a dance." :
3. Why isn't anyone asking me to dance?
I go through a basic grooming check (clean, no body odor, breath check, hair groomed, makeup on, nails manicured, toes pedicured, proper footwear, good location on the side of the dance floor, excellent line of sight, pleasant expression on the face, fangs not showing (just joking - - I just got into True Blood so I'm a little distracted...::Go Team Eric::)
Tonight I should be getting ready to go to a milonga I'm typing up a blog post about why I've been sitting at milongas... I'm really dreading getting all fancied up to go out dancing to sit all night long.....
Should I stay? Or should I go???
Heaven only knows.... I'll report back later....
Decisions, decisions,
Pantina
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2 comments:
ugh.. I've been there. I sit, and I wonder, and I try to use my (non-existent) psychic abilities to lure cabeceos. Nada. "IT" just isn't happening. I used to just pack it in and call it a night. And that was okay because it was nice occasionally to get some rest. But then a friend recommended leaving the "please dance with me" seats and circulate. Basically, stop focusing on getting dances, but stay at the milonga. Work on friendships and enjoy the music.
Caveat: Now this works in my community because I live in Texas which is marketed as "the friendly state" (and that translates as the "in-your-business" state.) We socialize a great deal. Our community isn't very big so we see the same faces at a lot of the milongas. That makes it easier. The nights when it just hasn't felt comfortable to socialize - or no one else was mingling - those are the nights I just give it a pass and go home early. You know your community best and what's comfortable and what's not.
Dear Pantina,
have you got IT back? How were things lately? I hoped others would comment on your posting because I found the question interesting. I did not really understand whether you - when you do not have IT - are invisible to those who gladly ask you to dance on nights when you have IT galore, or whether your observations relate to a group of individuals you do not know.
What I (as a male) can say is that sometimes we also do not have IT, which means that we prefer the safety of dancing with our usual partners or not dancing at all to the risk of getting a "no" upon our invitation to a woman we do not know. On other days we feel more self-assured and we don't care too much. What helps us on the evening without IT is, for example, having a little chat at the edge of the dancefloor or at the bar, because once the ice is broken just a little, it is much easier to say "What do you think, shouldn't we try the next tanda?".
This comment is probably not the re-invention of tango communication, but you may want to consider that it may have nothing to do with you (or your aura or looks or dancing skills) if guys do not ask you.
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